My toast in the UPA party

I wanted to go to the UPA party, and since I do not belong to any party which Congress can form a coalition with, I had to fight hard for it. Finally, the only condition imposed upon me was to come in Khadi. I also gained permission to make a toast to the 4 years bygone. I prepared hard and long to prepare a list of achievements that the UPA had made and wrote them in the book that I carried that day. Some of my points were appreciating the achievements and others were questioning others which were quoted.

• About 65 killed and 200 injured in Rajasthan, complete apathy from the government. The government eluding all common sense and placing the Pakistan talks and the Bangladeshi athithi’s concern over that of the common people. And within 10 days of the blast, the UPA is celebrating 10 years in office. The question is, celebrating what? To that I toast.
• Its not been over a month since the curtains were lifted on the PM trying to promote the nepotist interests of Mr. T R Baalu, the shipping minister. The defence was absolutely lame, saying that he was just forwarding the letters. The 9 letters sent in a matter of 5 months also contained reminders and mentioned the previous letter. The PM knows he is guilty of promoting private interests of some individuals in gross misuse of authority given to him but it does not matter because we know he only wants to impress his coalition partners. That is also why many people were called here, to that I toast.
• Mr. Arjun Singh was being touted as a hero until he committed the sin of speaking against the congress albeit in a mild manner. The gentleman who introduced reservations had immense opportunities to listen to public will. The protests went on for about an year before the court had to step in and impose a stay. He could have done what the court has done now, without the matter having to go to the court at all. A batch of students could not reap the benefits because the Arjun Singh did not act democratically by listening to the legitimate concerns of the people. But that is still our biggest achievement, and to that I toast.
• The UPA government formulated the Sachar committee to examine and remove the backwardness of the Muslim community in various jobs in India. While there are poor in all classes, the government is addressing only one community to tap its votes in a manner that is not appropriate in a secular nation. But whatever, I must congratulate you for your PM having spent sleepless nights over their plight. To your spirit of minority politics, I toast.
• Our home minister you have given for 4 years, Mr. Patil who does not know that Afzal Guru is not a Pakistani, who is completely unaware about his ministry giving directions to round up Bangladeshi immigrants, who compares the attack on the parliament to the mistaken identity of Sarabjit to be commensurate crimes has absolutely made strides in achieving national security by ensuring that there are no less than 22 attacks on the country, manifold more in Kashmir and innumerable attacks by insurgents. To the “sleeping at home” minister Mr. Shivraj, I toast.
• Chinese dragon has been roaring much louder ever since you assumed office. It knows, you have no spine to stand up to it. There have been more than 400 intrusions in the past two years into our borders. There have been open claims on not just Arunachal, but also on parts of Sikkim. Despite all this, you have such a friendly heart that you trounce even the democratic protests by Tibetans against the Chinese oppression. To your kind neighbourhood, I toast. Oh, OK, Karat wants to toast you for this. Yes Sir, please.
• The congress should be appreciated for having people like Arjun Singh. Mr. Arjun Singh hails the first time in parliament – Mr. Rahul Gandhi to be the PM in waiting. Getting the “yuvraj” angry he tries to say that he is not sycophantic. He is being given cold treatment for speaking against the high command of Congress and, in a bid to defend, the ultimate boot licking comes when Mr. Arjun Singh pledges his loyalty to the Gandhi family. After that not a day has passed since he heaps praise on Ms. Sonia and Rahul baba. To such “leaders”, I toast.
• The government issues add with its achievements where the cabinet and other responsibility holding members of the party are placed as picture. This time the UPA also issued ads, but Ms. Sonia, who holds no portfolio was also present. Actually the PM would have denied it earlier and made some statements in the air to seem like he was in command, but now, the situation is peace. The people have gotten used to being under the proxy rule of the Italian lady. To such buffoonery, I toast.
• The biggest achievements have been to establish proxy heads in every office, starting from the Governors to that of the President and VP. The president, Ms. Pratibha, has been issuing statements from her messages from the ghosts, shielding the fact that she is the most tainted, most senior person in the government. Mr. Hamid Ansari also is a very resourceful person, throwing out people in Rajya Sabha when the question about the nepotism is rather awesome when it was not even asked. To such rubber stamps I toast.
• The government is standing with the support of the Left, the inflation has been making even normal existence in the nation nearly impossible. And we keep singing about aam aadmi. To such phony campaigns I toast.
• The Indian food security and agriculture are facing great problems. While Mr. Swaminathan makes many recommendations which with some initiative will help the farmers, the Congress has taxed the honest farmers by waiving the loans taken from banks. A 60% farmers were left out in doling out a scheme that cost more than it would have cost to insure their future by continuing and expanding the farm insurance policy that was introduced by NDA. The loan waiver was both inadequate, and costly way of tackling the problem of agricultural productivity and it has sparked off another chain of suicides. But it was understood as a move which was pro-farmers even though most of them were left out of it. And to such schemes I toast.
• The UPA’s highlights can not miss the Indo-US nuclear deal. While no party other than the Congress is inclined to accept the deal, while the opposition asks for a renegotiation, the Congress has been sabotaging the debate over the deal by saying that India would lose face by not honouring the deal. The PM has not been making any efforts to continue the debate and obtain a consensus on the issue. To such parliamentary spirit or the absence thereof, I toast.
• The strategies in the UPA pockets are many, some would blow my mind off too. A simple one of that, which is that of buying the election commissioners. And notwithstanding the age of 71, handing him the ministry of youth affairs is another part of your clever strategies. To such policies I toast.
• We have about 30 crores of poor people in the country, who do not have enough for daily subsistence. But our PM is very choosy and he says that the Muslims have the first right over the nations resources. I hand over my glass to my Muslim friend so she toasts to you in gratitude.

At the risk of getting very drunk, I list down the best of the points from my book

• First thing the UPA did upon assuming its office was asking Britain not to hold the accounts of Ottavio Quattrochi and more at the behest of Ms. Sonia to honour her friendship with him and then later letting him go free by failing to put up a good show in Argentine courts, and then not letting the nation know that Quattrochi has walked free.
• A head count in the Defence on the religion basis.
• Very late action on food security — no imports and no ban on exports till april this year.
• The union minister’s novice analysis saying that changing food habits are responsible for the rise of prices and that poor are eating too much.
• Scores of terror attacks on the nation and none of them have been cracked completely till now.
• Imposition of President’s rule in Bihar (SC also declared it illegal), Goa, Nagaland because of installed Governors. Cruel murder of democracy in many states and in particular Jarkhand where history was created when an independent candidate was made the CM, again with the helping ‘hand’ of the Governor.
• Usage of parliament to give heed to personal vendettas as shown in the case of the removal of the AIIMS director and the SC observation thereafter.
• Misuse of parliament system again to save Sonia’s head from rolling with the extremely biased ‘office of profit’ bill.
• The cabinet ministry in the UPA government has done something that no one has done before. To question in denial the existance of Lord Rama, when it was not even necessary in the context.
• The centre has been observing silence in dealing with the Left inspite of the Left government using the police to murder people in Kerala and West Bengal. The silence over the misgovernance in Kerala and Nandigram episodes go on to say the position that Congress has taken on these issues.
• Hon. minister, Mr. Mani Aiyar (no longer in cabinet) in arrogance of coming to power asking for the photo of Veer Savarkar to be removed from the parliament house. Veer Savarkar fought bravely and long for the country for the independence which the Congress ministers in the arrogance of power have failed to see.
• To treat Taslima Nasreen like an international prisoner as a resounding slap to freedom of speech.
• The RTI which is touted as one of the achievements of the UPA government, was an initiative taken by Shri. H D Shourie, the father of Mr. Arun Shourie, the same was modified through debate in the parliament to make more inclusions and said to be a big achievement of the UPA government.
• Introduction of the womens bill is also named as an achievement; the NDA government has introduced the bill twice. Highly misleading, the UPA is making last straw.

Well, I must stop here. You are hardly listening to me, but to Mr. Amar Singh.